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God Awful Movies

Eli Bosnick, Heath Enwright, and Noah Lugeons team up for a weekly attempt to prove that if god existed, his PR couldn't possibly be this bad.
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Now displaying: January, 2016
Jan 26, 2016

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down the sequel to last week's homage to things happening randomly and in questionable focus; What Would Jesus Do 2: The Woodcarver.  This nearly impossible to properly punctuate sequel adds an Oscar eligible performance from Christian movie powerhouse John Ratzenberger, to answer the age old question of what gay GILF porn would look like if you took out all the sex.

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Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.

Jan 19, 2016

This week we meet a drifter with a heart of gold and no idea how humanity works. In a small California town with a bafflingly robust homeless population, a Jesus analog enters the lives of six community theater rejects; leaving both the characters and the viewers pondering one simple question... WTF?  Or, as they titled their movie (based on the bracelet of the same name) What Would Jesus Do?

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Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from him, check out their Facebook Page.

If you'd like to hear more from Anna Phyllis Smith, you can check her website as well.

 

Jan 12, 2016

This week Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Little Boy, the true story of Jesus giving nuclear bomb powers to an 8 year old so that he could massacre Japanese civilians by the thousands during World War II.  Terrible apologetics, an awful portrayal of stage magicians, and a plot that forces him to repeatedly pronounce the world "nuclear" combine to create the perfect storm of misery for Eli.  And as if that's not enough, the movie also includes hate crimes committed without consequence.

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Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook page.

Jan 5, 2016

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath tackle a movie about little girl who has the ability to cure cancer, AIDS, heart disease, and kidney failure, but instead uses it to cure hamsters with indigestion.  But when her atheist mother finds out, she puts a stop to all this magical altruism in a hurry in Heaven's Door.

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Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from them, check out their Facebook page.

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